My new job paid for me to go to a male survivor conference in NYC. I hate NYC, but jumped at the chance to learn more about a group that is usually passed over.
I chose a workshop that was supposed to be about community dissociation, case study at Penn State, however we never got passed the court testimony. Oh well.
The second was on erotic life and where it comes from when looking at sexual abuse. So interesting!
When I entered, it was already packed. I saw a chair in the back of the room, so went to ask the guy in the chair next to it if the chair was taken.
He said, yes, but he was sure the man would ‘give up the chair for a beautiful lady.’ I froze! Was this really just said to me? I didn’t need a chair given up for me by a man! First come first serve, I should not get special treatment (or viewed as weak) due to body parts. I backed off, but another man went and got me a chair. I did expect this chair, but really, someone could have said ‘we could get more chairs from another classroom for all the people filing in.’ But no, I was singled out for being a ‘lady’. No one got up to give a seat to the men coming in behind me.
I hate gender norms.