Pumpkin pie with… Drizzle?

So, is it just my family or does everyone have a creepy uncle? I’m actually not supposed to talk about him. When I tell stories of things he has done, my mom freaks out and says no one needs to know this. Because, frankly, it just sounds wrong.

This year, he got pawned off on us. He and I have butted heads in the past, it is no secret I do not get along with him. Mom pleaded for me to be quiet and ignore him, but I can’t agree to keeping my mouth shut when discrimination is going on. But, I said as long as he wasn’t using hurtful words, I would pretend he wasn’t there.

He brought a Mrs. Smith pumpkin pie, in the box… Kinda. The box was half ripped up and had this white icing in it. After he had left later in the night, my cousin tried to eat a piece of the pie and wanted to know what the drizzle was. This lead into a long inappropriate conversation about drizzle and where it came from. I will never look at pumpkin pie the same. Imagine below picture with a white sticky film of drizzle on it. I would have taken a picture if I was not too busy gagging.

20121123-005611.jpg

But my question is, why does he do stuff like this? Why does he have to be the creepy uncle no one is allowed to talk about?
I want to feel bad for making fun of him, because that’s just the type of person I am. I want to think he means well… But does he? Does he just not care enough about our family that he doesn’t care how he is portrayed?

No shocker-he’s still single. However, actively searching. My mom was on the phone with my grandfather the other night discussing creepy uncle’s pursuit for ‘the one’. Disturbingly, this conversation merged into my grandfather pointing out that I was also single and getting older and wasn’t I actively looking?
Omg, does that make ME the creepy niece? Thankfully my mom quickly told him (I think she has been practicing this in the mirror) that I was a busy woman and looking for a highly educated man, which there are not many of in this area. And if someone came along, that would be great.

I am still traumatized that I was brought up in the same conversation even though my mom did a good job of handling it.

Anyway, creepy uncle… I am trying to find a sociological spin on the whole concept, but I am falling short. Maybe he should just continue to be something I don’t talk about.

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